I was talking to my mom this weekend about life, goals, what our plans are, what their plans are, etc and she said something that really struck me. She prefaced the comment by saying, “This is in no way a negative on you, I’m saying this as I’m self reflecting”, to which it’s immediately impossible to not take what comes next to heart somewhat.
She said, I never would have thought that you, the child who got good grades, was social, and went to college would be doing what you’re doing, working as a secretary, with your degree, and living here still.
Well, Mom, neither did I.
I had grandiose plans for my life filled with success and happiness and Louboutins, but somewhere in the daily grind those dreams fell out of reach.
I didn’t want to be working an office job, and I still don’t. I have learned that what we do to pay the bills sometimes isn’t what we want to do. I remember SCREAMING at my mom that I would NEVER do real estate, and that I had no interest in it… well, I do, and that’s what I’m pursuing. Oh, life, aren’t you a fickle funny thing.
I never in a million years thought I would be living in Fayetteville… or anywhere in Arkansas. I’m not sure I’m okay with living here either.
My life is 180* from where I thought I would be, and I think that’s what is bothering me about turning 26 so much. When I think back on my life, nothing, ABSOLUTELY nothing has turned out the way I thought or planned it would.
When I try to look at what I’ve done and gauge my success, I don’t feel like I can. I haven’t met a single goal I set out with, except to get a degree-and even that isn’t in the field I wanted (or want) it to be in.
I know that everything happens for a reason, and that I’m on this path for a reason, but it’s really hard to look at my life and realize that my right now is no where near what I wanted, no where near what I want, and no where near what I feel successful is.