Jake and I have been married a very short and very wonderful two and a half months. We are now at the phase where we’re through with the unexpected events, and into the building a routine. *insert DRAMATIC sign and eye roll here* I’m not big on routine, except I constantly think I need routine. Anyone else sense a problem here?
Anyway, one of the things Jake and I weren’t seeing eye to eye on was housework. I’m pretty nutty about the apartment being clean because I like to spontaneously have people over, and general mess raises my ever present anxiety. Jake lived with 2 other guys before we got married and they weren’t the cleanest bunch (and that’s putting it nicely). I found myself doing all the housework, not because Jake wouldn’t do it, but because I didn’t ask for help. I would say, “It really frustrates me that you don’t help me with X,” and he would say, “What do I need to do right now?” Well, nothing because I’ve already done it, thus making me frustrated with you.
I finally came up with a solution, as I feel like housework is the silliest thing to argue about and I was wasting way too much of my energy on thinking about it. I made a list. I wrote down every doggon thing that needs to happen in the apartment and how often it needs to be done. (I didn’t go anal or anything, don’t worry. It’s less than a full page) I then went straight down the list alternating initials. I do half, he does half. I split the crappy jobs, so one person isn’t doing all the ucky stuff, and the other person isn’t lounging in leisure watching the other slave away. For the record, I did keep laundry on my list so that I don’t find any suspiciously shrunken clothing items, or tiedyed red shenanigans. :)
We are two weeks into this, and it’s been awesome. Now Jake knows what to do, and can see it written down (which is how he prefers), and I don’t feel like I’m nagging to get some help.
I feel very lucky and blessed to have a man who is open to splitting the list with me, and who makes an effort to do the things that make me more comfortable. I got a good one, that’s for sure!
What are some of the little things you had to work to figure out with your significant other?